Running
by supergirl3684
Summary: Whose fault is it for starting the apocalypse? Sam and Dean have different ideas. Told from Sam and Dean's POV WARNING: Contains CP and language


**RUNNING**

_**SUMMARY: Whose fault is it for starting the apocalypse? Sam and Dean have different ideas. Told from Sam and Dean's POV**_

_**WARNING: Some bad language**_

_**IDEA FROM: singsynchro1114 (hope you like it hun)**_

_**A/N: What can I say? I thought I'd try something new? Ok, so maybe my muse did. I'm not actually sure where this came from but the idea was given to me by **_**sing**_** and my muse ran with it! I hope you all like it!**_

_**OoOoOoOo**_

**Sam's POV:**

Well…I'd gotten farther then I'd expected but not as far as I'd hoped. I should have known Dean would be keeping a closer eye on me. I mean, I'm not stupid! I kept a decent GPA from grade school to college. Hell, I'd even gotten into law school! So why, I can't help but ask myself, did I really think I'd make it all the way through with my plan?

Probably because Dean's right; for being so smart I can be really stupid. Maybe I should start from the beginning….

You see, everything that's going wrong right now in the world, like those storms that shouldn't be happening and those people disappearing…it's my fault. Dean keeps saying it's not but I know better. You see my name is Sam Winchester and I started the apocalypse.

I didn't mean to! Honest, I didn't; I thought I was doing everything to stop it. Then I made my first mistake…I trusted Ruby. My second mistake is the worse though, worse than even starting the apocalypse…I didn't trust Dean.

Who's Dean? Dean's my older brother. He thinks he's so tough and right all the time. He's not but in this instance he was…right that is. I should never trust a demon…I should have never trusted Ruby. She seemed so sincere and well…I was played.

Our dad would have gone ballistic and I wouldn't have been able to sit if he'd been around. Yet Dean was willing to trust me to make the right decisions and I betrayed that trust. Even though we'd said some pretty awful things to each other I should have known he'd never desert me.

Even with all that I did, he was still there for me; still willing to pick up the pieces and try to put them back together.

Do you see it now? It was my entire fault! I should have never trusted Ruby and I should have totally trusted Dean. I started the apocalypse. I thought my brother would have been better off without me…I still think that but don't let him know! He's pretty pissed as is and I don't need to be in any more trouble.

You see, not more than three hours ago, I left the hotel room, after he told me not to. To make matters worse, I didn't tell him where I was going. I simply left a note. It said:

_Dean,_

_ I'm sorry I didn't trust you. I hope in time you'll forgive me. Until then, I'll be going my own way. I'll do my best to stay out of trouble. Don't come looking for me, I'll be gone by the time you finish reading this._

_ Sam_

Of course I should have realized Dean didn't go very far. He saw me leaving the room and came back to surprise me when I came finally came back. He saw the note and took after me. Actually…now that I think about it, I can't believe he let me get as far as I did.

Now that I'm really thinking about it, how in the hell didn't I realize that he was following me in the Impala? I can't even hide the whimper as I realize just how much trouble I'm really in. I hitch hiked a ride to the next town over where I hitched another ride to the following town where I was going to hop a bus. I figured I couldn't go to Bobby's since Dean was sure to call him but I knew a couple people from our hunts that I kept in touch with every so often. I knew I could I stay with them for a couple days then I figured…well….I was sure what I figured.

Not that it mattered once Dean stepped onto the bus. His eyes were showing how angry he was and no one stopped him or said anything. I swear the man behind me said, "I didn't do it." I would have laughed but I knew it would have made things worse. I didn't even say anything as I stood up and got off the bus.

Dean just followed me off and then all but shoved me into back seat of the Impala. I tried talking once but I wasn't dumb enough to try again. Have you ever ridden in the car for two hours, all the while not talking, and the drive is totally pissed at you? It's not fun, let me tell you.

When we finally got back to the hotel, I couldn't seem to stop myself. I told him everything and that I didn't blame him for hating me. I should have stopped when he told me to but I didn't. I let myself continue talking until he spun me around and swatted me a half dozen times.

He just looked at me as he ordered, "Not another word."

So I stayed silent; dad always said I was smart in the fact that I never made the same mistake twice…he was right.

The only other thing he said to me was stay which is why I'm now standing here, nose in the in corner, like a five year old.

_SHIT _

The hotel door is opening which can only mean one thing: Dean's back and it's time for me to pay the piper.

**Dean's POV**

What is about younger siblings that make your blood boil? I don't know about you but for me it's the whining, nagging, self centered…I could really keep going but I won't.

If I know my little brother he's already bored you with the details so I won't. I'll just say this. The little shit thinks he's to blame for starting the apocalypse. Well, I'm just as guilty. We both could have done things differently but we didn't. Dad always said our love for each other would kill us both if we weren't careful. Looks like he might be right.

My love (I'll never admit it to him) for my little brother saw me making a deal with the crossroads demon after he died. In exchange for him coming back to life, I would die in a year.

My death took its toll on Sam. By the time I'd come back from hell, it was too late. In some respects the apocalypse starting is more my fault then anyone else's. Not only did I give in to my torturer, I hadn't prepared Sam for my death the way I should have.

Still though, you don't see me running off half cocked and crying do you?

I should have nailed his ass when I read his note but I decided to let it play out a bit. When I saw him hitch his first ride I was ready to drag him by his ears and beat his ass till he couldn't sit for the day. When he hitched his _second_ ride, I was ready to upend him where ever we were when I got my hands on him. When I saw him get on the bus I was really seeing red.

So why didn't I beat the shit out of him when I got on the bus and found him? It was his eyes. Bobby always said that Sam's eyes gave him away…he was right. He looked so…

I didn't have to drag him off the bus. He could tell how pissed I was and left on his own accord. The shit did try talking to me once but never again after I gave him a rather frosty look.

When we got back to the hotel though…the kid doesn't know when to shut up! It took a good half dozen swats with my hand before he got the message and fell silent. I put in the corner and left the room. I was too angry to deal with him right then and there.

In fact I was so pissed I went the track at the local high school and just ran about three miles worth of laps.

Sam's been in the corner for about an hour and now it's time to deal with. I can see him tense as I enter but I don't let it stop me. I call for him and though I can tell he doesn't want to, he obeys me by coming.

There's nothing for me to say as I pulled him over my knees and bring his jeans and boxers to his knees. We're doing this old school…hand to bare ass.

I raise my hand and bring it down, doing my best to ignore the hiss of pain Sammy lets out through clenched teeth. As I set a rhythm I steal myself for the long haul. We're gonna be here awhile.

It takes about a dozen and a half swats before Sam shifts for the first time and I take that as my cue to bring the swats down harder and begin to lecture. I feel like I'm watching myself as I begin:

"You better listen to me carefully Sam." _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "Running away; not a good way," _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "To solve your problems." _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "There's plenty of blame" _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "to go around," _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "about starting the apocalypse." _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "You can start with dad," _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "go on to the yellow eyed demon," _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "throw in some Ruby" _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "and that bitch Lilith," _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "and then add the _both_ of us," _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "to the list." _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "And for some fun," _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "add some of the _angels_," _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "who decided," _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "they just had," _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "to come," _***SWAT, SWAT***_"and help." _***SWAT, SWAT***_ "You got that?" _***SWAT, SWAT***_

I can actually keep going but I know there's no point. Sam may not be listening to what I'm saying but he's for sure feeling it.

His feet are kicking, reminding me of when he was a kid and in this same position…I guess some things don't change.

He's trying to fight the inevitable right now so I help him accept it by angling him so I can swat at the tender under curve where he sits. I know from experience that it's tender and will make sitting hard for the next day or two.

It's over after a dozen swats, and I'm glad. My baby brother is laying over my lap sobbing and right now I hate myself because I'm the one that caused it. Yet I need him to know that I love him and that I won't accept him running…not after everything we've been through.

We're gonna have a fight on our hands and if we lose it's the end of the world as we know it. Everything we'd ever fought against before would be for nothing. All those lives we saved would be for nothing…

Damn it! Now I sound like Sam! I'll kill him later. For now I'll get him to put on his sweats and lay down to sleep. It's been a long day.

You see, my name is Dean Winchester. Sam and I started the apocalypse. All I can say this: We're sorry. We're going to do everything we can to stop it but should we fail you have the right to know who to blame.

**THE END**


End file.
